Why can’t we be enough?

Why do women have to be everything? I was listening to John Legends ‘All of You’ and the line ‘what would I do without your smart mouth’ (I mean obviously it’s about Chrissy Teigen and her sense of humour – at least as far as you can see on Twitter – is on point) and I suddenly thought, I don’t have that. If I’m ever funny, it’s not by choice, and when I do try, it always falls flat. I can’t flirt, I can’t keep guys on their toes, and I’ve lost 2 great loves of mine because of that.

I know the breakups weren’t my fault, so no one yell at me. It’s just that part of why they left, is that they got bored, and what if I’m never enough for anyone? Because a girl has to be everything. Smart, pretty, sexy, funny, understanding, sympathetic, exciting, intriguing. She has to be mysterious, but open. And I’m not everything. I have never been enough.

Why is there always something missing? Why does there always have to be something that you don’t have. The rise of young women, young girls, with eating disorders and mental health issues is terrifying, and also the young girls sending pictures of themselves to guys, proving themselves. The amount of women who go back to guys who abuse them, who assault them, because they love them, and because they blame themselves for not being enough. Who are just trying to prove that they are enough.

Why can’t the people we are be enough? Why does there always have to be something that we’re not?

The expectations for relationships are getting harder and harder to reach, with constant #couplegoals and people doing things that go viral, mean that normal, amazing things people do for people get ignored and taken for granted. The goalposts for everything now are constantly getting moved further away, and to be honest it’s not just relationships. There are so many people out there, so many things that have already been done, ideas that have already been thought, the goalposts for everything in life are always getting moved, and people are always passing them – which is great. I guess in a way it’s good that as a species we’re moving forward (in most ways anyway) but what about those of us that know we can’t reach the goalposts? Why does everything have to be so hard?

For those out there absolutely smashing those ‘#couplegoals or #jobgoals or #whatevergoals, well done, honestly, I congratulate you. But can’t there be a hashtag for just getting through the day? For just, being – and not necessarily being enough some days?

There always has to be something more to get, to reach, to be, to find. And I, for one, feel absolutely overwhelmed by it.


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