I’m writing this letter a few days after my birthday this time, rewatching Friends again, eating Wotsits (I like them now, who knew?) with a dog sat next to me trying to convince me to play with him. I’m reading over the letter I wrote to myself last year, and it’s kind of making me sad. I had just quit a very good job, in the hopes of getting more of a life, and as I sit here, I really don’t think I’ve done that.
I have a job that I enjoy, that I’m good at, and I have this blog, but I still haven’t really cracked the hobby thing. Are hobbies easier for pre teens? It feels that way. To answer the questions I asked myself last year, yes I am still blogging, no I haven’t got any better really at figuring it out, although I think I do trust what I write a little bit more. I can drive now (probably my biggest accomplishment of last year) so at least can I say that. I half moved cities and then moved back, and no, I haven’t found a career.
In all honesty, I feel a bit like I failed my just turned 23 year old self. I know that some things this year were out of my control and it wasn’t all my fault, but looking back on the hopes I had for myself even a year ago, I feel a definitely sense of failure.
So to you, 25 year old me. I’m sorry. I haven’t set you off on a head start, but I hope that I’m really going to try.
I wrote a New Years post with my hopes for myself (see here) and although I didn’t want them to hold huge pressure over me, I hope you’ve at least achieved some of it.
I’ve had a pretty tough 2017, and I’ve got to learn that not everything is perfect, not everything can be perfect, and not everything should be perfect. I don’t want to set you expectations of your relationship, of your career, or of where you live, because a lot of that is out of your control. I want to wish that we’ve moved far away from here, but I don’t want to read this next year and feel disappointed again, but that is my biggest wish. Move to the beach, move away and maybe start over.
I want this to be your year. I hope it was. I hope you grew this blog, and got better at being a friend, and got a bit more relaxed. I hope your trust wasn’t broken again, and I hope your heart is whole. I hope you’ve overcome challenges, and challenged yourself some more – I hope you’ve done stuff that scares you. I hope this dog sitting next to me never stops loving you as much as he does.
Keep me updated.
Favourite food: Crisps, and pasta (always)
Last book read: I’m sad to say, I have no idea (lets change this next year)
Watching at the moment: Friends, The Vampire Diaries, Nashville with my Mum
Piercings/Tattoos: Nose piercing (the other side to this time last year), ear piercings, a closed up helix piercing, one tattoo
Working: Administrative Officer at the County Council