Do people overuse the term ‘love of my life’?
I have seen a lot of Facebook and Instagram posts lately with people describing their significant other as the ‘love of my life’, which is an amazing thing to say, and an amazing thing to feel, but is it true? I have also fallen into the trap of this, I’m sure I thought each of boyfriends at different times were the ‘love of my life’ – it’s easy to do when you’re caught up with being in love and being happy. This post isn’t meant to bring anyone down, and isn’t meant to ‘bash’ anyone – I’m super happy for anyone that is in love. However, it’s a well known fact that love doesn’t always last. The estimated divorce rate in the UK is 42% (although apparently decreasing – so that’s good!) and someone who you describe as the love of you life, may not always be. In a way, it makes me sad – back in the tumblr days, I used to follow an account that basically just published photos that people sent in of them kissing. Almost every single caption would talk about the other person being the love of their life, and how they were going to be together forever. And, looking through them, I always wondered how many of them actually are.
I read today that 51% of millennials lie about how happy they are in their relationship (however I can’t find the source so don’t trust this necessarily haha) – and I wonder if, in the rise of social media, if words such as ‘love of my life,’ ‘soulmate,’ ‘my one’ etc. have seen a rise in usage. Due to our constant competition with each other (even unconsciously) – are we throwing these words out to prove something to people? Or, is it just normalised now, that that is how people refer to their significant others?
Celebrities, especially, are penalised if on special occasions, they don’t publish a suitably gushing post. If they don’t post about their partner for a while, there will be rumours and headlines that all is over. There is a light constantly shone on relationships now, that perhaps there wasn’t before, and maybe with that, comes the expectation that they all have to be meaningful in a big way – when, some relationships aren’t. Or, they are a good learning curve, a good experience, but they saw their course and they ended, and that’s okay. (Thank U, Next)
Not everything can be couple goals. Not every relationship has to move mountains. I love watching other people’s relationships, in a non creepy way – I’ve always loved celebrity romances etc. but after really putting thought into this post, I hope I remember to always take it with a pinch of salt going forward.
But does this diminish the meaning of the words? Does so many declarations of everlasting love, take away from the significance?
I think for me, slightly? But not diminish – more that it changes the meaning. Some people might describe their partner of the love of their life – and it actually be true! Realistically, you won’t know if someone’s the love of your life, until (brutally) your life is over, and it may not be the person you end up with. Maybe the phrase is overused, but if it’s how your feeling, you should go for it. I guess there is no point being coy with your feelings and holding back, because it’s always better to put yourself completely out there, so you know you were 100% honest. So if you describe your partner as the love of your life, and you break up, that’s okay, because that’s how you were feeling in that moment, that was your life right then. Each person you’re with can be the ‘love your life now,’ or, you can decide that you don’t want to rise to everyone else’s challenge.
As Cameron Diaz once said in The Sweetest Thing : “Look for Mr Right Now, and then that ‘Now’ will just fall off” – when you’re ready.
Do you use these words to describe your other half, if so, do you use them on a whim, or with the meaning behind it?
Feel free to read my post writing letters to some of the crushes I’ve had in my life (i.e. not the loves of my life) and about showing both sides on social media, which seems appropriate.
What I’m wearing:
Boots: George at Asda (similar here)
Photos by Claire at HooknEyeCrafts