Back at it: Love Forty Down

Hello, everyone. As you may or may not have noticed, my face hasn’t been around this blog much recently. I took an unintended break over Christmas because of other priorities, and then have had a bit of a nightmare with hosting etc. for the blog, meaning it was offline for about a month. It’s now back up and running, and I wish I could tell you that I learned a lot in that month that I couldn’t blog. I wish I could tell you that I used my time wisely, and although I’ve kept good to my promise of reading more (mostly) I didn’t really do anything else worthwhile, and all I realised was that I really relied on blogging as a definite ‘hobby’.

The other thing I realised?

I actually didn’t miss it that much.

I would sometimes have brainwaves of posts to write, and I have many notebook pages full of these ideas, most of which I never actually try to write, but then the pressure of actually writing it would get to me, and I’d do something else. Since I got my one paid post last year, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to push this blog to ~somewhere bigger~ including fastidiously sharing every post on twitter, publishing an Instagram picture most days (not that it’s done anything for my growth anyway), and updating the SEO on all my old posts, despite definitely not understanding most of the technical mumbo jumbo that surrounds having a blog.

Last week, I told my mum I might start writing a novel, and she was ecstatic, and just today, I received a text from my Dad telling me how pleased he was that I might be writing again, and in all honesty, that made me cry a little bit. Since finishing at University, my whole life has been focused on various things – relationships, jobs, commuting – and rather than just letting myself write when and how I wanted to, I tried to fit to ‘blogging’ rules, trying to force myself into a niche, and constantly picking apart the pictures I took and the words that I wrote.

So, I’m no longer going to look at how many people have clicked on my link, I’m no longer going to try to stick to a schedule (as if that ever works anyway) and I’m no longer going to stress if I don’t have perfect pictures to go alongside. I’m just going to write, and write however I want – I hope that’s okay with all of you. That might include my thoughts on current issues, poetry, list posts, general musings, wherever my pen takes me. (Well, keyboard, but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.)

Catch you in a bit.

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